Do you ever have those hidden thoughts about your self that you have not share with anyone? Those hidden thoughts that you will never make as much money to live the life that you deserve… Those hidden thoughts that you are not as smart as others… Those hidden thoughts that you may never find that wife or husband… Those hidden thoughts that your body, facial features, teeth, foot size is jacked up… Those hidden thoughts that it was your fault that someone physically, mentally, emotionally, and/or sexually abused you… The listed thoughts may occur on a less than often basis for some; others may experience those overbearing thoughts habitually… Despite the frequency of the thoughts, they are all together thorny!!! These thoughts may have a defeatist effect on an individual. Some of effects that individuals are at risk of from the listed thoughts may consist of:

1. Anxiety

2. Fear

3. Doubt {In self and others}

4. Sadness

5. Anger

6. Bitterness

7. Lack of trust

8. Lack of happiness

First… Pushing Past Financial Insecurities…

Early in life most individuals establish financial goals and create plans on how to accomplish those desired goals. Those goals may be driven by the lavished lifestyle one was afforded by his/her guardians; on the flip side of that coin, those goals may be driven by the lack of lavish that was experienced in one’s lifestyle. Unfortunately, people can not choose the family he/she is born into… You just get what you get, that’s just the way it is… Those thorny thoughts may begin to set in and cause insecurities when one did not graduate high school {I know I’m not going to find a good job without an education!!}, when one didn’t keep track of his/her credit score and it’s at a point that getting approved for a loan, of any type, is almost impossible {I am never going to buy a reliable car, get approved for a home loan, get approved to rent a decent apartment, and/or be able to put furniture in my home!!!}… Now here’s how you work your push:

1. If you do not have a high school diploma or college degree it’s important to push past the false perception that you will not be able to be financially secure… Don’t allow your inner critic to take over, be bold and tap into those career desires… Set goals and work proactively to make them a part of your reality…

2. If your credit score is not in the 650-800 range, there are many different resources which will provide assistance with credit repair… The credit bureau will allow individuals a free copy of his/her credit report… Check the accounts on the credit reports and if those accounts weren’t created by you, they can be disputed… It is important for your debt to ratio to remain below 30%…

Second…Pushing Past Body~Image Insecurities…

Throughout life, one is exposed to societies perceptions of what a perfect body~image should look like… Being tall, having a Coca Cola body shape, long straight hair, perfectly shaped nose, pearly white/perfectly straight teeth, manicured finger and toe nails {at all times}, wearing name brand fashionable clothing… Childbirth may be the trigger for those thorny thoughts and cause insecurities to surface… After one has given birth to a child/children her body will change {I will never get my pre~pregnancy body back because of the weight I gained!!} {My stomach looks horrific!!}, when one’s teeth aren’t straight and braces are not an option {I can’t smile because everyone is going to notice my messed up teeth and talk about me}, I am short and no matter how much I try to lose this fat belly it won’t go away {I hate going to the beach because I’m the only one that has a messed up stomach}, I am a man, I’m suppose to be tall and buff {I can’t go to the gym and work out because I’m a runt!!!}… Now here’s how you work your push…

1. If you do not feel like you are socially accepted look at the facts of your life. If you are short, it is out of your control… Your height, texture of your hair, dental structure is a part of your genetic make up– Unless the individual sucked his/her fingers or pacifier too long… Learn to embrace your imperfect self by practicing strategies to build one’s self-steam {reciting positive affirmations daily, accepting your characteristics that can not be changed, and learn to cherish your body~image}...

2. If you have been blessed to give birth to a child/children, it’s important to realize that it’s just that… A blessing!! Now being pregnant is no joke… The possible aftereffects are no joke either {like those stretch marks that pop up wherever they want to! Or one’s stomach after a cesarean section}… Remind yourself that some women can not give birth to a child and would give anything to have a child… If that’s not enough and you want to have a mommy makeover, save your money and make it happen!! Make sure you don’t lose sight of the blessing- your child!!!

Third… Pushing Past The Relational Insecurities…

Life relational experiences have a way of knocking one down emotionally… Most of the time, an individual is not emotionally prepared to withstand the storms that arises in his/her life… Cheating partners, abusive {emotionally, physically, financially, sexually} partners, lying partners, gambling partners, emotionally-detached partners…After a failed relationship those thorny thoughts which lead to insecurities may surface… I had a partner who habitually cheated on me {I am not good enough for anyone, I will always attract cheaters}… I was in a very abusive relationship and stayed when everyone told me to leave {My life is not valuable that’s why my partner abuses me, no one will want me}…During the relationship my partner and I would argue all the time about our finances, come to find out the bill money was being spent on pleasurable items {I am so stupid for not noticing the bank account dwindling down to a zero balance, I never chose the right partner–always users}… Now here’s how you work your push…

1. If you have been exposed to a toxic relationship one should remember to allow time to learn any new potential partners. Make sure you have taken the time to heal. Do so by acknowledging and accepting the hurt that the previous relationship caused…

2. If you have experienced a break up you should journal, be surrounded with people who love and support you, practice self-care techniques, and/or talk to a professional to assist with the healing process…

3. If your relationship has ended badly, it is SO crucial to cut off all communication with you ex-partner… By doing so, you will allow yourself the necessary you time to manage your emotions {betrayal, abandonment, disappointment, rejection, and/or humiliation}… It is not recommended that you keep in contact with someone who has caused you emotional pain. Because we are emotional beings, one should block the ex-partner from all social media networks, email list, social interactions, etc..